the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am available for nakedness
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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