i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just google imaged poop.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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