Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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