the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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