This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
