"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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