I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
thus making me awesome and them whores
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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