im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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