Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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