sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
