Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
