Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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