ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
