well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
