Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
