____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
