Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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