im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize