I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have feelings that need drinking.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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