Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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