so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
