you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
