I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
