Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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