My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
