she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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