there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
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Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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