thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
