My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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