i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
