Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
