dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
