i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
