these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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