when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
