my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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