I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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