I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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