when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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