Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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