Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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