They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.