awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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