I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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