Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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