he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
