what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
