please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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