I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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