how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
