Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
