Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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