"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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