im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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