I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
