I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
