dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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