Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My bed is full of blood and feathers
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
