You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
