In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I AM VODKA MAN
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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