They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize